The stories published in tabloid magazines are basically always the same, usually involving the same extended cast of characters. When an unexpected celebrity or “celebrity” is thrown into the mix it is usually because they are unexpectedly in the limelight- i.e. Tiger Woods’ 2am Thanksgiving car crash make people realize that he is not just some sort of golf robot. Also, it seems that every year or few months there is an overriding theme, one that gets more press than just the usual diet tips and who wore what better For example, I believe it was in 2005 that the prominent theme was EATING DISORDERS. Mary Kate Olsen had one, then Nicole Richie, then Lindsay Lohan, then everyone else.

Recently it’s been infidelity- specifically on the husband’s part. Maybe John Edwards started it. There’s been freakin’ Jon Gosselin, Tiger Woods, Josh Duhamel, oversees its soccer player Ashley Cole, and now it’s Jesse James- another one of those unexpected characters. And why? Because his wife, America’s current sweetheart and Oscar winner Sandra Bullock is his wife. If this is true, it really sucks because Sandra has been thanking him and adorning him with praise and compliments all award season and he’s been supporting her, looking out of place in his penguin suit, but just sooo proud of her. He just looked like a big tattooed teddy bear.

So who is the fame-whoring mistress this time around? Tattoo model Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, who essentially looks like a Suicide Girls reject. She’s just sold her story to In Touch and drops the bomb that she had an eleven-month affair with James while Sandra was filming The Blind Side- yes, the movie she just won a ton of awards for. And in an attempt to not make herself seem like a giant slut, “Bombshell” claims that she thought James and Bullock were actually separated during this time. Umm, hello? I’ve totally googled people I’ve gone out with who were, like, unemployed and living at their parents’ house. And if she really thought they were not together, wouldn’t she be bragging to a lot more people a lot sooner about bangin’ the guy from that monster truck show or whatever? I’d imagine West Coast Choppers is very popular among her crowd.

Anyway, so meet your new mistress Michelle McGee, who will be all over the place dishing about her tryst with the “Vanilla Gorilla” until some sort of believable statement is made by James or Bullock, or until another one of James’ ladies comes out of the woodwork. Why would In Touch even publish this? Just let her rant and rave on her MySpace and just sound like the crazy person that she probably is without some sort of pseudo-authority or verification (In Touch). More importantly, Jesse James, if this is true, why did you cheat on your spouse without a rubber? Famous men, why cheat on your spouse and leave any sort of electronic, eye-witness trail (you will be discovered)? Or simply, men- please stop cheating on your wives; at the bottom of it all, it’s common decency.